Demon Dummy From Hell

I couldn't get to sleep last night - do you know why? I was afraid a demonic ventriloquist dummy named Fats was going to sneak into my room and kill me. It was all because of the 1978 Anthony Hopkins thriller,"Magic," which aired on AMC's Friday the 13th fright fest.

How freaking scary is that? Sir Anthony played a ventriloquist named Corky who's driven to murder by his dummy. Even though I'm terrified of ventriloquist dummies, clowns, marionettes, etc. I decided to watch anyway. The movie wasn't that great, but you could absolutely see Sir Anthony's potential. The man was born to play psychos. Corky starts out as a lame magician who finally finds the right gimmick - a creepy and crass dummy that gets the crowd howling. His agent gets a sneaking suspicion that Corky is getting a little too attached to his wooden partner and asks him to get a medical evaluation. Corky runs for cover in the Catskills and gets reunited with his high school sweetheart, played by the fabulous Ann Margret. First of all, if a guy always comes to your house with a dummy and includes the dummy in all of your conversations, wouldn't you find it really odd? I totally would, but Ann couldn't get enough of it. There's this one scene where they both have decks of cards and he has to read her mind to figure out which card she has. When it doesn't work, Corky FLIPS OUT and screams at her to concentrate. She's absolutely terrified but goes along with it and focuses with all of her might. It works the second time and he's able to match her card - the three of clubs. She goes from being terrified to turned on in an instant. Huh? She kneels before him and they retire to the bedroom so she can see his real "club". Ugh.

Corky's agent tracks him down and challenges him to speak without the puppet for 5 minutes. By the way, throughout the whole movie I thought the dummy's name was "Vats" but it's actually "Fats" - not that that makes any more sense. After Corky fails to have a conversation sans Fats, the agent says he's going to get him medical help. Fats tells Corky to stop him and Corky swings Fats at the agent like a baseball bat. Fats yells out in pain and in the next scene, his head is bandaged up. Hilarious. It seems like Fats is very jealous of Corky and Ann's relationship. Corky kills Ann's husband (she was a cheatin-bitch) but cannot bring himself to kill Ann. He winds up jamming a knife into his own stomach and dies beside his dummy. Did I mention they were wearing matching outfits? I swear, when this ended, I stared at my door and waited for Fats to come in with a butcher knife. AGGGHHH!!!

Runner up for scary dummy: Pinocchio in the D-classic, "Pinocchio's Revenge."